Why? Because in the months that followed our initial exchange of emails, I dragged my feet. I hemmed and hawed and, at times, suppressed the voice of the Spirit telling me that I should invest in this relationship. Like many Americans, I am hesitant about charitable activity that isn't well-established. I was also distracted by life and a fear of getting involved.
After a few emails in the first months of 2009, Pastor Chandra indicated that Madhuri wanted to attend an English-speaking school that would offer her better prospects for education and the future. It would cost about $250 for the year, and we thought that we could divide it up by sending $35 each month starting in June of that year. Some months I did, others I didn't. Over the course of the next 12 months, the emails were sporadic, and usually consisted of Pastor Chandra's updates and prayers for us, and requests to hear more from us. I confess that my replies were slow - I was feeling deep guilt, and still resisting the Spirit's whispers that were growing more insistent. The Chandra's were (and are) praying daily for us, and hoping that God would light a fire in our hearts for the poor of India.
(Have you ever done this - resist the Spirit because of some fear or perceived impracticality? Like me, did you feel a tug telling you not to get involved - that it could be messy, or inconvenient? Have you ever exaggerated the extent to which you were involved in overseas ministry? We frequently talked about our friends in India and felt quite self-righteous about it.)
After a few months, I stopped sending money and emails. It was a gradual thing. It wasn't until June of 2010 that we received another email. Pastor Chandra was asking about whether or not we would be sending money for Madhuri's second year of the English school. That summer, we sent a few hundred dollars to cover the year's school expenses. This was a better solution for us, because it would cover our hemming and hawing and we would feel "paid up" for several more months. We even exchanged phone numbers and called them one evening (it was morning there). The language barrier was significant, and we ended up reverting to email. After we asked if there was anything else they could think of, Pastor emailed back saying that he had been praying for a computer.
Pastor writes a good bit, and he had been writing and emailing using a computer at a nearby (a 2km walk, so nearby is used loosely) internet cafe. A laptop would be an extremely useful tool. Also, as it turns out, the internet is accessed primarily through cellular networks. Pastor could purchase a card for a laptop and be connected as he traveled. For us, this was a bigger commitment. It was a wonderful test, and we were faced with the question of whether or not we really wanted to help. This is where the Grace of Christ began to show itself - after waffling for months, we decided at Christmas to send a laptop.
As a computer nerd, I found this task relatively simple. I was not very comfortable with many aspects of this relationship, but now I had a technical problem with an easy solution: purchase a netbook with a webcam and a long-lasting battery and ship it to India. I did some research and bought a computer that I thought would fit the bill, with the coincidental assistance of a salesman from Mumbai who knew all about computing in India, wireless cards and power adapters.
It took more than a month for the shipment (wow, it's expensive to send large boxes to India) to reach Pastor Chandra, we got word that they had received it. We were excited, and hoped that it would allow us to communicate better. Before I shipped the laptop, I loaded Skype onto it in the hopes that we could video chat.
It wasn't long before the opportunity came for us to Skype. Pastor and Manjula were there, along with Madhuri and Pastor's nephew, Nathaniel. This video chat left me breathless. They were so happy to see us, and we were ecstatic to see them. We spoke for a little while - there was a long delay, and lots of repetition, but I came away with a sense of combined joy and panic that left me with nothing but, "OK, what do we do now!?" After we said goodbye, I paced the floor attempting to process the conversation. Here are some thoughts:
- I am a solidly middle-class American, but I had never felt so wealthy
- I had never met anyone who literally depended on Christ for everything they had
- I was sure that it would be an epic failure on my part if I didn't allow this experience to change me
A few years before, Jennifer and I had prayed that God would allow us to live a deeper life, and to show us what the looked like. I hope that this post has illustrated a very great truth from Philippians 1:6: "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion...". All of this is the Lord's doing - if anything, I resisted. How thankful I am that He (and the patient Chandra's) pushed me along.
In the next post, I will introduce you to Nathaniel and his beautiful family. I'll share some of the truly tireless work that Nathaniel and the Chandra's are doing to help the poor and lost of India discover the King that loves them and desires to care for them.
Grace!
Todd
Inspiring . Yes the one who began the good work never cease because it is His work not ours.
ReplyDeleteSurely we will win the war though we lost few battles . Victory is ours